Belle at 9.5 months

my miracle baby is now 9.5 months old.

her vocab
mama
meimei
papa
wawa
up! up!
baba
oooh oooh (tutu lips)

level of understanding
looks up to the ceiling and points to fan
points to nose (ours, not her own yet)
shakes her head when 'no' is said to her
waves byebye
does hi-five
nudges her forehead forward until it touches yours and does a Hongi greeting

motor skills
crawling fast
stands on her own, manages to stand hands-free for 1 or 2 sec
manages sit from stand well (will hold on carefully while lowering butt slowly before hand is released)

her emotional quotient seems to be high. she watches our expressions very carefully and knows if we're angry with her. she will look on until you soften and smile back at her.. that sends her bouncing happily up and down on her butt.

my precious miracle baby, i love you.

Another March Mommies gathering!

My baby is 5 months old

life has been incredibly hectic and exhausting the last couple of months which explains the lack of updates. so many times i wanted to blog but decided against it due to sheer fatigue.

my little baby is now 5 months old at 8kg. She's still not drinking as much as she should have been at her age but i'm not complaining since she's growing well.

my chest freezer is also near her full capacity and she's drinking 2 months old milk. of course i'm giving her largely fresh ebm daily, just thawing a pack of old milk everyday to minimise expiry too soon. i'm wondering if i should start to cut down on my milk production. what i have in my freezer is definitely enough to last her the next couple of months but i am reluctant to stop. am i addicted to pumping?? definitely not. what i will miss is the closeness and bonding when she latches on.. i dont want that to stop.. but the supply has to decrease.. she played a major role in sustaining this breastfeeding career.. without her, i would have been plagued with blocked ducts.. and the supply would have never gone up this much. churning out close to 1 litre a day has gotta stop. unless she can up her intake from 600-700ml. looking forward to her starting solids next month!

here's some milestones updates over the last few months:

• flipped at 3 months
• actively grabbing at 3 months
• first audible giggles at 4 months

looking forward to more milestones in the next month!

Mirabelle and her March baby friends!

Just for fun!

First digital scrapbooking

my first attempt at digital scrapbooking.

TEDIOUS! :P

Simply Statistics

My record high - 355ml per pump session

Her weight gain - 5.8kg at 7 weeks 4 days

My weight loss - 14kg from 76kg to 62kg. 5kg more to pre-preg and aiming to hit 55kg.

i'm sorry, my dearest

Dearest Mirabelle,

Mommy is sorry, for blowing my top at you tonight. I was really really frustrated and tired and could not understand why you kept rejecting your bottle and was wailing away. All Mommy wanted was to have a quick, peaceful dinner with Daddy so that we could quickly attend to you, but I suppose you were also tired.

Mommy knows that you did not sleep well the most of today and thats why you were behaving the way you were. Mommy really tried her best to soothe and pacify you but you were inconsolable and thats when Mommy lost it and yelled at you. Somehow you knew.. you understood.. you paused for a moment in the midst of your intense wailing and peeked through your tear-stained eyes at me.. you knew you were being chided. You decide to wail even louder. :(

You were put to bed earlier than usual and Mommy nursed you for only ten minutes before you fell into a deep sleep. You did not need your pacifier for comfort suckling tonight. It shows you were really shagged.

My beautiful little girl is now sleeping peacefully beside me. Mommy is prepared to nurse you as often as you require tonight to make it up to you.

I'm sorry my dear daughter. Know that no matter what, Mommy loves you deeply.

And I want to see your big, bright smile, first thing in the morning again.

Milk-stained mouth and leaky boobs

sooooooo many things to do... sooooo many things i wish to write about.. but with any spare time i have now, i have to catch up on my chores.. after updating facebook, there's hardly any energy left for blogging.

my little cub is now 6 weeks 5 days.. and she's really grown :)



a pity we didnt take much photos during the baby shower as everyone was busy entertaining guests.. i didnt even get to eat much!

some milestones in random:

• took off her mittens and trimmed her nails. this was better to develop her finger-grasping skills
• for the first time in history, she did NOT cry or whimper during her bath time! ha.. actually there's been major improvement since her first bath. cant wait to bring her swimming!
• baby's neck is getting stronger and stronger by the day.. actually she was able to lift up her head momentarily at 2 weeks already.. wonder when she'll actually be able to hold up her head for longer periods
• she's definitely getting more responsive and smiling more! love her toothless smile and crescent-eye grin :)

really enjoy dolling up my little girl.. hehe.. matching her outfits with matchy socks..

as for myself:

• weight still hovers around 63ish
• tummy still big :( massage lady say she couldnt massage for me as the wound is still swollen.. so sad.
• milk oversupply! so much that i had to stop feenugreek and only pump 3 times a day.. used up all storage bottles and cups i had and started freezing milk bags..

over supply of milk also has its cons.. the bub may not get to drink the freshest of milk and also freezing destroys some immune properties of milk. pumping less also bears risks of lowering supply.. max yield per pump is a record of 320ml.. i wonder if my boobs are capable of holding more? wearing breasts pads are a must if i dun wish to wake up in tee soaking wet infront.

pretty cupcakes too cute to be eaten from her baby shower!

getting more responsive

this morning when i greeted the little one, i gave her a tickle as i did so and she broke into a beautiful smile that completely melted my heart. :)

she's smiling more frequently at 5 weeks now and even chuckles in her sleep. so lovely to watch.

cant wait for her to start responding to our goos and gaas..

chubby chubbs

my little cub weighs 4.4kg today at her checkup with her PD today. Dr Ang says that she's very cute and growing very well. She jokes that Mirabelle cant compete in beauty pageant cuz of her double chin!

ha.. glad that all's going well with her. very proud to have made the decision to go total breastfeeding since week 2+ onwards. didnt have enough supply during the first 2 weeks and couldnt catch up with her demand. fell back on formula milk to supplement. things got better eventually and i decided to go TBF and its been a huge success looking at the number of bottles sitting in the fridge. i wouldnt say its HUGE AMOUNT but supply is definitely more than demand currently. wouldnt want to be one of those mommies with oversupply cuz there's alot of inconveniences that come along with it as well. been blessed not to have any engorgement pains or fever so far.. hopefully it stays that way!

all that constant pumping till dozing off at wee hours in the morning has paid off.
*beams*

she prefers..

me to the bottle
and
me to the pacifier..

i love seeing how calm she becomes after she's latched on..
i love caressing her hair as she nibbles on..

sucha warm and fuzzy feeling :)

She is 4 weeks old :)

i cannot believe how quickly time has passed. Mirabelle is now 4 weeks old. has it been 4 weeks already since the day she was born?? the first week after delivery was bad and somehow i recall it as a blur. perhaps thats how the brain cope with unpleasant memories as it tries to repress the bad moments.

last night was the most emotional night as far as i can remember, tearing and choking. perhaps more emotional than my wedding night. somehow, after staying at 娘家 for 4 weeks, i've grown attached to my old room all over again.. i recall the first night staying at my new place, i cried as i hug my mother knowing that i've finally grown up and now married and staying on my own. i would go back 娘家 feeling all emo looking at my room and stuff. its the same old feeling again, multipled a million times. spending these 4 weeks back home, seeing how my mom worked tirelessly, cooking and washing, preparing all my meals, constant nagging (all the confinement rules i broke), seeing how she would carry and soothe Mirabelle each time she cries.. just thinking about it makes me choke with tears. my mother is soo patient with her no matter how inconsolable she was.. speaking to belle softly and lovingly even after she's thrown a major episode of crying and screaming.. so this is how loving she was towards me when I was a baby.. now that i'm a mother myself.. i can finally appreciate what it means by unconditional love.. i think back in shame how impatient and rude (sometimes) i've been with my mom..

i look at my sleeping baby and wonder if she'll ever know how much i love her.. and i wonder if she'll ever break my heart?

Total EBM (expressed breast milk)

3rd day of going pure total ebm and the supply has been sufficient so far to meet the demand. decided to wean off formula milk to see if i'm able to sustain.. so far so good. i guess doing so, 'forces' me to try to churn out more milk for her. if i always fall back on FM.. i suppose i'll get lazier..

lets see the chart.



lets hope i can sustain this..

Equality of the sexes: is there such a thing?

sacrifices a woman makes to have a baby:

• suffers from morning/night sickness/nausea/poor appetite during first trimester
• suffers from heartburn/bad acid reflux during last trimester
• suffers from backache, massive water retention, sleepless nights becuz of the heavy, growing belly
• suffers from becoming damn FAT and ugly
• suffers from hairloss
• endures disfiguring of the tummy (linea nigra & stretchmarks)
• go through labour pains (be it natural or c-section)
• suffers the AFTERMATH and excruciating labour pains
• suffers from the one month of confinement with rubbish rules
• suffers from sore/cracked/bleeding nipples
• suffers from piercing pain when baby latches on despite the condition above
• suffers from having to pump nonstop round the clock just to feed breast milk to baby
• suffers from post-natal blues/hormonal changes/mood swings/depression from sleepless nights (again) and a screaming baby

sacrifices a man have to make to have a baby:

*long pause*

*longer pause*

anyone fill me in on this?

so dont tell me you dont have a life and dont have your own space.
it will only make me scream murder.

* * * * *

well to be fair, he HAS done his part, he's..

• changed diapers
• bathed baby
• cup/bottlefed baby
• burped baby
• carried and soothed baby, all very much like a PRO
• and had his fair share of sleepless nights

do i see any light at the end of this tunnel? everyday's been the same, old cycle..
feed baby
burp baby
diaper change baby
soothe baby
feed baby
burp baby
diaper change baby..

u get the idea..

sometimes all it takes is for her to smile... and as cliche as it may sound.. it really makes everything all worthwhile...

Day 19 - does demand always equal supply?

hit my record high earlier with a 205ml yield. left side being 80ml and right side being 125ml. but somehow, i still find the need to supplement her with perhaps 10%-20% of FM (formula milk). its been crazy having to pump every 3 hourly.. the best i can manage is 5 pumps within 24 hours.. although ideally its 8 times every 24 hours. dunno how long more my poor boobs can take it. they've been thoroughly abused, squeezed, poked, squish-squashed from all possible angles to make sure that no milk is left behind. but i have to persevere, knowing that i'm giving the best gift i can for Mirabelle.. hopefully the antioxidants and nutrients in my breast milk will be good enough for her to withstand against bad viruses and bacteria.

Finally :)

i can post up proper pictures of her into the digital scrapebooking :)

Everything statistics

she's now 2 weeks old :) last visit to PD's 2 days ago, she weighed 3.2kg.. daddy weighed her again this morning, 3.3kg.. 0.1kg in 2 days.. hee.. glad all the ebm (expressed breast milk) is getting into her system well.

frankly, i've been very blessed. for being able to latch her well and she's also able to take both bottle/breast/cup. never knew the depth of difficulties that existed until i hear from the other mommies in the forum. its been both convenient AND inconvenient to latch her. in the middle of the wee hours if she's been fussing, all i need to do is just shove a nip into her mouth and she'd suckle away contentedly till she gets sleepy.. but since its so warm and comfy in my embrace, she tends to sleep more rather than suckle, which meant i have to keep tickling her chin/cheeks/ears to wake her.. and the latching time can get really long.. and the other 'free' nip is happily dripping away, and i was not about to let those precious EBM (expressed breast milk) slip away, so the other hand is kept busy holding an empty bottle to contain the dripping milk. SO, she LOVES to latch.. which could also be tricky, cuz it meant that i cant be doing anything else but to sit there and let her latch! in most cases, babies prefer the bottle cuz of the faster let-down, and reject the nipple cuz of the slower flow.. for belle, its the other way round! she would bawl when the bottle was given and took abit of nudging before she would suckle on the bottle..

milk capacity and pumping

hm, so my boobies have a large capacity.. it does take longer for me to feel engorged.. and i can tahan 9 hours or more before i feel like i really need to pump. ideally i should pump every 3 hours.. but tis so hard! especially if i need to be running errands during the day. take those days where i need to visit her PD (pediatrician) or my own gynae for follow.. many hours are spent outside.. how to pump? and today, some relatives came over to visit.. and i had to miss 2 pumping sessions cuz i also went back home to sayang my cats and pick up some stuffs.. but anyways.. overall, i'm glad that my supply has been slowly increasing.. perhaps due to the nice soups mom has been cooking.. or that i TRY to pump more frequently.. or perhaps its due to fenugreek that i've been taking..

baby has been feeding so frequently and its round the clock and hubby and i can never remember when our last feed was and the quantity, so we've started recording down every single feed and end time plus the capacity she took.. i've also started a pumping schedule to track how much milk i can actually pump out in a day..

so here goes, my pumping record:

Tuesday, 16 Mar
10pm - 100ml
1am - 75ml
5.30am - 65ml

Wednesday, 17 Mar
11.30am - 80ml
9.20pm - 150ml
2.15am - 125ml

Thursday, 18 Mar
12.15pm - 100ml
4pm - 70ml
3.30am - 60ml

Friday, 19 Mar
9am - 100ml
10pm - 110ml

Saturday, 20 Mar
11.15am - 80ml
3.30pm - 95ml
6.30pm - 100ml
11pm - 90ml
2.45am - 90ml

Sunday, 21 Mar
12noon - 175ml (highest record so far)
5pm - 130ml
9pm - 130ml
1.30am - 140ml

As u can see from the records, the yield has suddenly gone up quite abit on sunday, after 5 more pumps the day before.. hopefully this pattern continues..

will pump again later around 4+am... zzz....

life of a milking cow..

Thank goodness she doesnt have my eyes :P

Quiet moment and Hiccuping :)