Total EBM (expressed breast milk)

3rd day of going pure total ebm and the supply has been sufficient so far to meet the demand. decided to wean off formula milk to see if i'm able to sustain.. so far so good. i guess doing so, 'forces' me to try to churn out more milk for her. if i always fall back on FM.. i suppose i'll get lazier..

lets see the chart.



lets hope i can sustain this..

Equality of the sexes: is there such a thing?

sacrifices a woman makes to have a baby:

• suffers from morning/night sickness/nausea/poor appetite during first trimester
• suffers from heartburn/bad acid reflux during last trimester
• suffers from backache, massive water retention, sleepless nights becuz of the heavy, growing belly
• suffers from becoming damn FAT and ugly
• suffers from hairloss
• endures disfiguring of the tummy (linea nigra & stretchmarks)
• go through labour pains (be it natural or c-section)
• suffers the AFTERMATH and excruciating labour pains
• suffers from the one month of confinement with rubbish rules
• suffers from sore/cracked/bleeding nipples
• suffers from piercing pain when baby latches on despite the condition above
• suffers from having to pump nonstop round the clock just to feed breast milk to baby
• suffers from post-natal blues/hormonal changes/mood swings/depression from sleepless nights (again) and a screaming baby

sacrifices a man have to make to have a baby:

*long pause*

*longer pause*

anyone fill me in on this?

so dont tell me you dont have a life and dont have your own space.
it will only make me scream murder.

* * * * *

well to be fair, he HAS done his part, he's..

• changed diapers
• bathed baby
• cup/bottlefed baby
• burped baby
• carried and soothed baby, all very much like a PRO
• and had his fair share of sleepless nights

do i see any light at the end of this tunnel? everyday's been the same, old cycle..
feed baby
burp baby
diaper change baby
soothe baby
feed baby
burp baby
diaper change baby..

u get the idea..

sometimes all it takes is for her to smile... and as cliche as it may sound.. it really makes everything all worthwhile...

Day 19 - does demand always equal supply?

hit my record high earlier with a 205ml yield. left side being 80ml and right side being 125ml. but somehow, i still find the need to supplement her with perhaps 10%-20% of FM (formula milk). its been crazy having to pump every 3 hourly.. the best i can manage is 5 pumps within 24 hours.. although ideally its 8 times every 24 hours. dunno how long more my poor boobs can take it. they've been thoroughly abused, squeezed, poked, squish-squashed from all possible angles to make sure that no milk is left behind. but i have to persevere, knowing that i'm giving the best gift i can for Mirabelle.. hopefully the antioxidants and nutrients in my breast milk will be good enough for her to withstand against bad viruses and bacteria.

Finally :)

i can post up proper pictures of her into the digital scrapebooking :)

Everything statistics

she's now 2 weeks old :) last visit to PD's 2 days ago, she weighed 3.2kg.. daddy weighed her again this morning, 3.3kg.. 0.1kg in 2 days.. hee.. glad all the ebm (expressed breast milk) is getting into her system well.

frankly, i've been very blessed. for being able to latch her well and she's also able to take both bottle/breast/cup. never knew the depth of difficulties that existed until i hear from the other mommies in the forum. its been both convenient AND inconvenient to latch her. in the middle of the wee hours if she's been fussing, all i need to do is just shove a nip into her mouth and she'd suckle away contentedly till she gets sleepy.. but since its so warm and comfy in my embrace, she tends to sleep more rather than suckle, which meant i have to keep tickling her chin/cheeks/ears to wake her.. and the latching time can get really long.. and the other 'free' nip is happily dripping away, and i was not about to let those precious EBM (expressed breast milk) slip away, so the other hand is kept busy holding an empty bottle to contain the dripping milk. SO, she LOVES to latch.. which could also be tricky, cuz it meant that i cant be doing anything else but to sit there and let her latch! in most cases, babies prefer the bottle cuz of the faster let-down, and reject the nipple cuz of the slower flow.. for belle, its the other way round! she would bawl when the bottle was given and took abit of nudging before she would suckle on the bottle..

milk capacity and pumping

hm, so my boobies have a large capacity.. it does take longer for me to feel engorged.. and i can tahan 9 hours or more before i feel like i really need to pump. ideally i should pump every 3 hours.. but tis so hard! especially if i need to be running errands during the day. take those days where i need to visit her PD (pediatrician) or my own gynae for follow.. many hours are spent outside.. how to pump? and today, some relatives came over to visit.. and i had to miss 2 pumping sessions cuz i also went back home to sayang my cats and pick up some stuffs.. but anyways.. overall, i'm glad that my supply has been slowly increasing.. perhaps due to the nice soups mom has been cooking.. or that i TRY to pump more frequently.. or perhaps its due to fenugreek that i've been taking..

baby has been feeding so frequently and its round the clock and hubby and i can never remember when our last feed was and the quantity, so we've started recording down every single feed and end time plus the capacity she took.. i've also started a pumping schedule to track how much milk i can actually pump out in a day..

so here goes, my pumping record:

Tuesday, 16 Mar
10pm - 100ml
1am - 75ml
5.30am - 65ml

Wednesday, 17 Mar
11.30am - 80ml
9.20pm - 150ml
2.15am - 125ml

Thursday, 18 Mar
12.15pm - 100ml
4pm - 70ml
3.30am - 60ml

Friday, 19 Mar
9am - 100ml
10pm - 110ml

Saturday, 20 Mar
11.15am - 80ml
3.30pm - 95ml
6.30pm - 100ml
11pm - 90ml
2.45am - 90ml

Sunday, 21 Mar
12noon - 175ml (highest record so far)
5pm - 130ml
9pm - 130ml
1.30am - 140ml

As u can see from the records, the yield has suddenly gone up quite abit on sunday, after 5 more pumps the day before.. hopefully this pattern continues..

will pump again later around 4+am... zzz....

life of a milking cow..

Thank goodness she doesnt have my eyes :P

Quiet moment and Hiccuping :)

I love the words on this Tee :)

Compilation of the recent pix

*moments after birth*

*daddy & belle*

*tigger watching over tigress cub*

*our little family*

*closeup of belle*

*photoshoot by yours sincerely*

Some of her video updates so far

*her powerful lungs*

*measuring her stats :)*

*calm before the storm, watch for 3.40 sec*

*her tiny grasping finger*

Some things about her

over the last 13 days with her, these are some things i've learnt about my little girl:

• she's a natural when it comes to food :P

she was able to latch on rightaway after birth like a pro, sucking out whatever colostrum i had to offer. in fact, i was not aware that i really HAD colostrum until i saw her nibbling on this after prying my nip out from her forceful sucking.

see the little whitish thingy at the corner of her left mouth?

• she's also a natural cup-drinker :)

see video here.


when she was in tmc for phototherapy, the auntie looking after the newborns said that she was the 'queen of cupdrinkers'.. hehe.. she drink very fast! must control otherwise will choke

• bottle-drinking? - give it to her anytime

she took it on the first time with no fuss and sucked down whatever we had to offer in the bottle.

i've been very blessed with a 'good size nipple' and a baby who's forever hungry and is adaptable to whatever's given to her as long as she gets her food.

• she's impatient

wails the house down whenever she wants her milk. cannot wait.

• she's got very strong neck already

quite a few times she managed to lift up her neck whenever we were carrying her and would collapse right into our shoulders.

• she's got powerful legs

very strong as she happily kicks and stamps her legs down onto your stomach as she wails for her food at the same time

• she smiles so ever sweetly in her sleep

perhaps its just muscles twitching, but it really doesnt look like that. she really does seem to smile. :) yet to be able to capture this special moment.

• she lurves to suckle on me

the only way to calm the crying belle is to let her latch.. its a magical moment where she would immediately calm down.. take in my embrace and just suckle.. within 10min she would get sleepier.. and sleepier.. and thats the best bonding moments ever.. where she was calm and i was able to stroke her hair.. play with her tiny fingers (she has really nice long finger and finger nails! potential pianist perhaps? :))

i'm enjoying every single moment with her as i learn more and more about her. her tiny little body already packed with her own personality :)

Motherhood: Day 11-12 updates

Motherhood - is a whole new journey.

from pregnancy, to childbirth, to breastfeeding, to the actual taking care of the newborn. many chapters unfolded, many questions yet to be answered, much knowledge left to be learned.

before, i was really afraid that i wouldnt have any milk, given that i had no prior leaking. they kept saying that the milk will kick in from day 4 or 5 onwards and thankfully, it did kick in around then for me. oh my.. the pain of engorgement.. to the joy of watching those few droplets actually trickling down into the bottle.. to the joy of watching the supply gradually increasing each day, knowing that its all good stuff, all meant for the baby. that meant less sleep, more chores to be done (pumping-washing-sterilising-wipingdry over and over again). but it is worth the trouble.. SHE is worth the trouble.

tonight, i broke my own record of 100ml, yielding 150ml in a 30min pump session. :) perhaps thanks to Fenugreek and also a slightly more frequent pumping session during the day, as much as i can manage.

*first few drops*

*100ml milestone!*

a mommy from the forum shared this link with us and i thought it was really useful knowledge:
http://www.ameda.com/breastpumping/moms/maintaining.aspx

• Drained breasts make milk faster. When breasts are drained often and well, this sends the signal to make milk faster. Lots of pumping at first "puts in your order" for a full milk supply.
• Full breasts make milk slower. Human milk contains a substance called FIL (Feedback Inhibitor of Lactation) that signals the breast to slow down its milk-making. The more FIL in the breasts, the slower milk is made.
• Different breasts mean different pumping patterns. How long it takes for breasts to feel full depends on a woman’s "breast storage capacity." This is the amount of milk her breasts can hold before feeling full. The room in the milk glands (not breast size!) is the basis for this and differs from one mom to the next. Moms with a "large capacity" store more milk, need to pump less often, and get more milk at a pumping. Moms with a "small capacity" get full faster and need to pump more often to get the same amount of milk. Both moms can make plenty of milk, but the number of pumpings needed to keep up supply can vary greatly.
• Very long stretches between feedings can slow milk production. Because full breasts make milk slower, very long stretches between pumpings may cause milk supply to go down. Cutting way down on pumping may work if you have a "large capacity." But if you’re a mom with a "small capacity," be careful. Your milk supply may drop.
• Pump more: 8-12 per day. This boosts milk supply for most mothers.
• Pump longer: until two minutes after the last drop of milk or 20-30 minutes, whichever comes first. (Drained breasts make milk faster.)
• Read "Getting a Good Flange Fit" and then check your pump flange fit. Many women get better results with a larger breast flange. Even if you had a good fit at first, flange fit can change with time and pumping.
• Use breast massage during pumping. This yields more milk.
• Ask your lactation consultant to talk to your doctor about prescription and herbal medicines that can boost supply. Examples are metoclopramide (Reglan), domperidone (Motilium), and fenugreek capsules and tinctures.

so here i am, at 2am, with my funky Medela Freestyle handsfree set doing its job, i'm able to still surf and blog. i should have started this earlier, it makes pumping a breeze now that i dont need to keep watching the clock ticking away wondering when the 20min will be up.

k, she's fussing now. will write again

ps*
my right boob just yielded almost 100ml in 22min! wow.. but my left was pathetic.. perhaps its becuz she latched on it earlier with her powermotorsuckermouth?

Motherhood: Day 1-10 updates

12 days have passed since Mirabelle was born on the 6th Mar 2010

The initial week has flashed past and its like having gone to hell and back. The fear of epidural and c-section is NOTHING compared to its aftermath. I was purely 'functional' towards my beautiful child in the first week - ie. solely breastfeeding, could not hug or hold her much because i was in such physical pain. I think the brain represses bad memories because as hard as i try to recall, i can only remember this much from the past 11 days and there's really a whole lot more i wanted to write.

Let me try my best to flash back (in point forms):

• csection - tolerable, no side effects other than 'epishakes' (lips and entire body quickering like earthquakes due to the epidural) could barely speak audibly as i was trembling too much. very nice anesthetist Dr Phua i had, very reassuring and would tell me every step of what he was about to do so that i need not get a rude shock.

• aftermath Day 1,2 - first day was ok as i was still on the painkiller drip. but as soon as that was removed, the real pain set in and i was bedridden for 2 days, urine bag attached. i was stuck in almost the same position without turning or sitting up much. it was pure misery. i laid there until i got real backache. i was drowsy from the medication that i kept falling asleep while nursing belle. i wanted to sit up so bad but the wound was keeping me from it. the hosp bed was so uncomfy and the aircon was forever too cold to sleep comfortably in.

• aftermath Day 3 - on the 3rd day, i finally got up with some assistance. my my my.. my womb felt like i had 100 medicine balls weighing down on it. every step needed effort, every step needed courage. the nurse told me that i had to get up and walk before the urine bag could be removed from me. i wanted my mobility back and so i had to try. upon seeing that i could move about so ever slowly, the nurse removed my urine bag and the catheter from my left wrist. i was a free woman. but alas, there were other physical pains too overwhelming, for me to still take in all her beauty and really enjoy having her. lets see - SORE AND BLEEDING NIPPLES from her powerful suck, itchy, allergic rashes that were breaking out, indescribable pain from the wound and bad, bad BAD, MAJOR WATER RETENTION that was affecting the way i walk cuz it was so bloated that i could not even flex my ankle. I was walking as slowly as a centurion grand old lady, as fragile as the autumn leaves. i sobbed like a baby when i had to first cough, i dare not even cough as every cough threatened to burst those stitches, it was searing hot pain. i never felt such pain before and helplessness. I could hardly do anything myself and could not even pick up something when it dropped. i felt like a useless retarted fool.

• aftermath Day 4 onwards - somehow or rather.. once i left the hosp, i felt slightly better as i was back home. nothing beats being at home. although i was still in pain, it was creeping away bit by bit, without me being aware of it at times. from having to take steps, one step at a time like a young child.. i was soon able to walk up and down the stairs like a normal person does.. still, it was done carefully and slowly.. today at day 12, i am back to my usual speed. i was also too busy caring for Mirabelle that i had no time to think about my own pain. it has been pumping, washing, sterilising, drying, pumping again.. never-ending cycle. of course she gets cranky at night and i was barely sleeping.. i would say it has taken me an entire week to really start to feel better. of course it helped that i could wash my hair on day 6 onwards.. it was pure bliss..

• Day 7-9 - belle was admitted to TMC for jaundice, level 15.7. she was 8.9 upon discharge 4 days ago. it was heartbreaking, heartbreaking to see her tiny body under the harsh blue lights, lying in the cold plastic for 48 hours. it was the best for her, or so we thought. it costs us $1050 a lesson learnt. we did not know there was actually a renting option for the phototherapy machine where the device would be delivered to our home and back. i thought they were really unethical not having informed us. i suppose those 2 days brought along with it some good things:

1) i learn that my bb has a voracious appetite! i was still stupidly giving her 30ml, as i was following hosp's portion. auntie say 30ml is for day 1,2 only. she was drinking up to 90ml in the phototherapy. auntie say she's queen of cupdrinking there, heh. suck super fast and hard.

2) both me and hubby had time to recharge and organise our lives abit more and be more ready to welcome her home

3) i had time to let my boobs heal. had time to pump, didnt know i could pump out more than 100ml from both sides in 25min before, cuz was desperately trying to give her the best, whatever little i could do.

4) i stopped cup feeding. felt that it was a dumb idea and i'm not about to spill my precious ebm!! alot goes to tissue sometimes and when she wiggles, sure got spillage! so i heck care, switch to bottle.. she took it on fantastically, i was ready if she were to reject my boobs. but thankfully, she latches on like before, no prob at all. so now she's both latching and drinking my ebm, if not enuff i will top it up with FM.. i dont pump 3-4hourly.. sometimes like 6,7 hourly.. find it very hard to keep to schedule. so many things to do! my last pump was last nite abt 2am.. today havent pump at all.. cuz photoshoot.. now gotta take a catnap.. if she cry, i will just temporary stuff my boobs for her to latch. but still supplement, cuz i have no idea how much she's drinking at all and i think she is going to need more. i know my supply will never match up to her demands (at least for now).. so i just try to take it easy.. supplement with FM.. no pt stressing over it cuz it will only make it worse. yest there was slight dip in my ebm.. only 70ml.. kinda sad but din let it get to me.. so last nite went back up to 85ml.. now i dunno...

5) the rashes on her are also gone, which is good. jaundice level dropped.

6) i learnt that i put too little bottom balm liao.. must put more.. leave it whitish looking also ok.. if not will get nappy rash.. now bb sleeps longer throughout the night and is much more contented cuz she's fed the right amt :)

• Day 10 - Mirabelle's first photoshoot :) - 15 Mar 2010

isnt she such a darling? :) *beaming with pride*

i'm so thankful that she was relatively cooperative for the photoshoot as it required her to be sleeping all the while, while being manipulated into the cute poses as above. she did cry and fussed a couple of times but very quickly quietened down after her dad soothed and carried her. thankful to the photographer, Kelly, who allowed me to take a few snaps here and there, otherwise i would have been in such torture waiting for the end product to be ready! looking forward to seeing the real pro results! :)